Happy New Year Reader!
I’ve lived in quiet a few houses - as a daughter, a wife, a roommate . . .
Until I moved into Aunt Lois’ house, I had never been the sole and primary homeowner, the one fully responsible for everything that comes with it.
Just before my New Year’s trip to Atlanta, my hot water heater went out.
There was no landlord to call. No spouse to rely on. No maintenance request to submit. No one else responsible for fixing it.
Just me, my house, and cold water.
The difference between inhabiting a space and owning it is disturbingly chilly and clear.
Y’all . . . I borrowed money to buy a hot water heater. It was the wrong size. AND to add to the challenge, the alcove the heater fits in is small and special, so finding the one that will fit was difficult and MORE expensive.
So I waited. . . I’m still waiting.
For the right heater.
For the install.
For hot water to return.
Home ownership is not just about equity or stability or checking a box that says “adulting accomplished.” It is about responsibility. When something breaks, stops working, or slowly wears down, it is yours to notice and yours to address. And sometimes we do not get it right the first time. And sometimes fixing it takes longer than we want. . . A LOT LONGER.
You can live in a place for years without ever taking ownership of it. You can benefit from it, depend on it, complain about it, even care deeply about it, without accepting responsibility for its upkeep.
It is a nagging reminder of where we are right now as a society.
We live in this country. We exist here. We are affected by its systems, its policies, and its failures.
But living somewhere is not the same as owning it.
Ownership asks different questions:
- What is mine to take responsibility for?
- What needs attention instead of avoidance?
- What am I waiting for someone else to fix?
Ownership does not mean you caused the problem. It means you are willing to engage with it.
As I shiver in my shower, I really wish this wasn't my problem to handle - that I could just phone it in.
But ownership comes with requirements.
In my house . . . and in our Nation.
Where are we simply present and where are we willing to take responsibility? Even when it is inconvenient. Even when it costs more than we expected? Even when we would rather hand it off to someone else? Even when it is complex and complicated? Even when we have to ask for help and favors? Even when it requires waiting?
Homes do not maintain themselves. Communities do not either. Neither do institutions or democracies.
It is funny what we learn while we wait in cold water.
